if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
June 2013
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
hotels can’t be boring to me
they’re just fun
even if i’m sitting in the room watching tv or riding the elevator or sleeping it’s just fun for some reason like they’re average every day things but in a hotel everything is way more amusing and interesting and just simply being in a hotel is fun to me and i don’t understand
May 2013
Geneva, Budapest, Paris, Amsterdam, Eindhoven, London, Milan, Johannesburg, Cape Town, Hong Kong, San Francisco.
And I’m in Annecy/Talloires already!
This is gonna be a good summer.
some people are so good at talking like they open their mouth and out comes good ideas and perfectly constructed sentences and they have confidence and everyone listens to them talk
but when i talk it’s like hello morning yes butter homework wiggle book good
the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk
The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt
The best part about the big spoon as that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.
Three types of people
April 2013
Karl Marx (via uxxr)
#EVERYTHING YOU OWN IN A BOX TO THE LEFT #FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE COLLECTIVE
(via ladyssansa)
swaggie: je swag, tu swags, il/elle/on swag, nous swagons, vous swagez, ils/elles swagent
my blog is less me making a conscious effort to entertain people and more people walking in on me talking to myself
the “you wouldnt download a pizza” campaign is the worst way to convince people not to steal music of course i would download a pizza do u know who i am
“You Reblogged that Before I Could Fix the Typo,” a harrowing tale of shame, madness, and murder